Contributor: Law of attraction believer Lou Castro
About eight years ago, I was working as a bartender and just sort of living my life with no defined structure or plan. I was twenty-four and very single, going out a lot but with no long-term relationship on the horizon. However, I knew it was time for a change. I wanted to find someone I really meshed with–it just hadn’t happened on its own. I would tell my mother that I was probably going to end up single for the rest of my life because I had set the bar too high. Here is the list I made of the qualities I was looking for.
I wanted someone who:
1. Cared about staying healthy,
2. Was family-oriented,
3. Shared some of my traditions,
4. Had a good sense of humor,
5. Had a great upbringing, and
6. Was either working or going to school.
In other words: I wanted the perfect woman.
When I shared this list with my friends, they would tell me with more than a bit of sarcasm, “Good luck with that!” Well, little did they know that this woman I was describing was right among us all! That’s right: I ended up meeting my wife at my best friend’s family gathering–a friend I’d known for over ten years.
This is how it happened: We had been at the same gatherings a number of times, yet had never been introduced; later, we didn’t even remember seeing each other at all. Then one day, I did see her–for what seemed to me like the very first time. I remember watching her as she entered the room and, well, what can I say except that old cliche: It was love at first sight. As soon as I saw her, I was stuck on her. From her smile to the way she carried herself, everything about her just seemed right for me.
That evening, I asked my best friend who she was.
“Oh, that’s my cousin,” he replied.
My response: “Whaaaat??!!!” Before this time I thought I had met his entire family. What a surprise it was to learn otherwise.
That night, I made him introduce her to me. He did, and we talked for a while. Weeks later, I saw her again and that is when I learned, much to my dismay, that she had a boyfriend. I wasn’t surprised by this at all–just disappointed. Reluctantly I decided not to pursue her in any way at that time, respecting the fact that she was with someone else. Then I let it go–or tried really hard to, anyway.
Of course, I still couldn’t stop thinking about her and soon after our meeting, funny things started happening. We started bumping into each other more and more, sometimes under the oddest of circumstances. When I went out she would often end up in the same place I was in, even though as I said, before this I’d never noticed her around at all.
After a number of these coincidences, we started to become good friends. As I learned more about her I realized that the way I had seen her that first day was not an illusion: she was exactly the person I wanted to be with and much more. At some point I remember telling all my friends that I was going to marry her and they would just laugh and remind me that she was already taken. Deep down inside, though, I just knew it would happen.
Months went by. My feelings for her grew stronger until all I could think about was her. I would spend hours imagining us hanging out and what it would be like–the law of attraction in action! Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was sort of frustrated with myself that I couldn’t move on from these thoughts. So, I decided a change was in order: I needed to tell her how I felt.
So, that’s what I did. The next time I bumped into her–we were at a bar–I explained to her that I could no longer be her friend. I was too stuck on her, I said, and therefore I couldn’t seem to get myself to open up to anyone else.
Telling her how I felt was a relief and after doing so I started trying to just avoid her; I didn’t want to deal with the feelings I was having that couldn’t be returned. I remember telling myself that I was thankful just to have met her but it was time to move on.
Almost a year went by. During this time we did not see or hear from each other. Then one day I was invited to a going-away party for friend who was also related to my wife-to-be. As I knew she would be there I was unsure and uneasy about going. At the same time, though, I knew I wanted to see her.
Well, the day came and I decided to go, and sure enough she was there–and so were my same old feelings. We sat down and spoke for a while, catching up with each other. And then she said it: Since I saw her last, she had ended things with her boyfriend.
After that meeting, we kept in touch and within weeks we were dating. A year later we got engaged and a year after that we were married.
Today we are just about to hit the five-year mark. We have two beautiful daughters and I could not be happier. The mind-boggling thing about all of this was that she had been right there in my life years and years before we had even met. It wasn’t until opening myself up to my true desires and deciding what I really wanted in life that I could see what had been there, waiting in the wings, all along.
The other reason I know the law of attraction works is that all the time we were apart, I somehow knew that we would eventually be together. With this calm understanding I was able to respect her choices and not do anything to interrupt her life, no matter how badly I wanted to. Then, when the timing was just right, we got together.
It’s spirituality for the rest of us.
Eckhart Tolle is awesome. So are Byron Katie and all those Buddhist monks we hear about. Why, then, doesn’t their advice immediately solve all our most pressing spiritual problems?
Why are their results so difficult to replicate?
More Stuff to Read:
Some Spiritual Practices Actually Work. It’s Amazing.
There are hundreds of spiritual techniques for overcoming depression and increasing inner peace. Here, stories about the ones that actually work. (In some posts, I rate the practices on a scale of 1-10, too. Sort of like county fair pumpkins, but more spiritual.)
These Are the Books I Want My Kids to Read Someday
Kids, here it is. Have at it.
- Spiritual-But-Not-Religious Books I Want My Kids to Read Someday
- All Books I Want My Kids to Read Someday
I’m a Partner, a Mom, a Friend, a Mom, a Sister, a Daughter, a Businessperson and a Mom. Here’s What Helps.
Don’t read this section. It’s nonsense, mostly.
- My Mostly Ridiculous Self-Improvement Journal
- 150 Life Hacks for Getting Suddenly Awesome
- Suddenly Awesome Miscellany (And, Let’s Be Real: Book Promos)