This is how I finally got rid of my need for a man:
First, I realized that I was not happy being around certain people, and there was nothing good that came from my relationships with them. I let go of the idea that I was going to help them by being their friend.
That was step number one.
The second step was a little more complicated than that:
I told myself lies.
I don’t need anyone, I told myself. I like to be alone. Anyway, having friends is too complicated, and too time-consuming, and what do you really get out of it, anyway? Support? Love? Acceptance? I don’t need that—not really.
I am, all by myself, strong.
Not long after I made this decision, the lies worked. I was happy being alone—happier than I’d ever been before, anyway. Things really were less complicated when I wasn’t trying to please other people, and instead just living for myself.
I was free, and I loved it.
And, even as I look back on it now, I don’t think I was wrong to feel that way. Relationships can be a burden, after all, and if you let them, they can even make you dull.
Being alone, I still believe, is truly the most romantic way to live.
When I lived alone, everything was either terrible or wonderful. I spent every night without anyone to cuddle, which was terrible.
But I took long walks by myself at night and looked at the city—at the water and the bridges and the alleys—and some things were beautiful, and some things were not, but together they were all perfect, like a poem.
And that, at least, was wonderful.
It was romantic in a way you can never be romantic with another person.
And that is why I recommend it even now.
It’s spirituality for the rest of us.
Eckhart Tolle is awesome. So are Byron Katie and all those Buddhist monks we hear about. Why, then, doesn’t their advice immediately solve all our most pressing spiritual problems?
Why are their results so difficult to replicate?
More Stuff to Read:
Some Spiritual Practices Actually Work. It’s Amazing.
There are hundreds of spiritual techniques for overcoming depression and increasing inner peace. Here, stories about the ones that actually work. (In some posts, I rate the practices on a scale of 1-10, too. Sort of like county fair pumpkins, but more spiritual.)
These Are the Books I Want My Kids to Read Someday
Kids, here it is. Have at it.
- Spiritual-But-Not-Religious Books I Want My Kids to Read Someday
- All Books I Want My Kids to Read Someday
I’m a Partner, a Mom, a Friend, a Mom, a Sister, a Daughter, a Businessperson and a Mom. Here’s What Helps.
Don’t read this section. It’s nonsense, mostly.
- My Mostly Ridiculous Self-Improvement Journal
- 150 Life Hacks for Getting Suddenly Awesome
- Suddenly Awesome Miscellany (And, Let’s Be Real: Book Promos)