This is how I finally got rid of my need for a man:
First, I realized that I was not happy being around certain people, and there was nothing good that came from my relationships with them. I let go of the idea that I was going to help them by being their friend.
That was step number one.
The second step was a little more complicated than that:
I told myself lies.
I don’t need anyone, I told myself. I like to be alone. Anyway, having friends is too complicated, and too time-consuming, and what do you really get out of it, anyway? Support? Love? Acceptance? I don’t need that—not really.
I am, all by myself, strong.
Not long after I made this decision, the lies worked. I was happy being alone—happier than I’d ever been before, anyway. Things really were less complicated when I wasn’t trying to please other people, and instead just living for myself.
I was free, and I loved it.
And, even as I look back on it now, I don’t think I was wrong to feel that way. Relationships can be a burden, after all, and if you let them, they can even make you dull.
Being alone, I still believe, is truly the most romantic way to live.
When I lived alone, everything was either terrible or wonderful. I spent every night without anyone to cuddle, which was terrible.
But I took long walks by myself at night and looked at the city—at the water and the bridges and the alleys—and some things were beautiful, and some things were not, but together they were all perfect, like a poem.
And that, at least, was wonderful.
It was romantic in a way you can never be romantic with another person.
And that is why I recommend it even now.
More Stuff to Read:
Some Spiritual Practices Actually Work. It’s Amazing.
There are hundreds of spiritual techniques for overcoming depression and increasing inner peace. Only one blog talks about whether or not they work. With ratings. (Take that, God.)
- My Favorite Spiritual Practices for Overcoming Depression
- Depression Success Stories and Spiritual Practice Success Stories
I Suspect Inner Peace Is Just a Myth. Here Are Interviews With People Who Disagree.
Some people are such show-offs. But that doesn’t mean they’re not worth listening to.
There’s a Book for That, Too
It’s a great time to get suddenly awesome. So many teachers. So many books.
- Best Spiritual-But-Not-Religious Books for Overcoming Depression
- Books I Want My Kids to Read Someday
I’m a Partner, a Mom, a Friend, a Mom, a Sister, a Daughter, a Businessperson and a Mom. Here’s What Helps.