Life Hack for Overcoming Depression: Don’t Try to Feel Good

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If happiness is everywhere and you just have to look—why don’t more people find it? Everyone wants to be happy, don’t they? So aren’t they trying, too, and if they are, why doesn’t it work for them?

Why doesn’t it work for me?

Well, that is a good question and here is the only answer I can come up with right now:

Yes, I think they want to be happy.

But no—I don’t think they’re trying to be.

I think they’re just trying to feel good.

And that, of course, is a very, very different thing.

But it is an easy mistake to make, and one that people make every day.

Which is why, dear reader, at this point, I want to ask of you one favor—one small, tiny favor that is the foundation for the rest of this book and for everything I believe, and it is this:

Please don’t be like them.

Don’t pretend you’re trying to be happy when you’re really just trying to do the same thing you’ve always done, maybe in different ways, which is, just feeling good.

I would never ask you to try to be better than other people just for the sake of being better than them. I am only asking you to be better because being better is, in this case, actually better.

And I’m not just asking—I’m begging. Kind of.

Yes, I am begging:

Please, please don’t be like them.


“This is the kind of writing that makes me feel as if I’d sat down with the author on the sofa with cups of tea and we were talking together for hours. The style is so vulnerable …” – Heather

“I don’t know what to say other than it is the most beautiful book that I have ever read.” – Ashley

“Really, I am rather speechless.” – Sarah

“I loved the book!! I couldn’t stop reading it!! It touched me so very much.” – Haydee

“Player has given a beautiful gift to her readers. I was very touched.” – Celia

“Player’s chatty style evokes a realism and empathy for the story. One is able to feel her pain.” – Anonymous 

Get What I Learned from Jane on Amazon.


More Stuff to Read:

Some Spiritual Practices Actually Work. It’s Amazing.

There are hundreds of spiritual techniques for overcoming depression and increasing inner peace. Only one blog talks about whether or not they work. With ratings. (Take that, God.)

I Suspect Inner Peace Is Just a Myth. Here Are Interviews With People Who Disagree.

Some people are such show-offs. But that doesn’t mean they’re not worth listening to.

There’s a Book for That, Too

It’s a great time to get suddenly awesome. So many teachers. So many books.

I’m a Partner, a Mom, a Friend, a Mom, a Sister, a Daughter, a Businessperson and a Mom. Here’s What Helps.



  1. Dear Scott and Mollie,

    I am anxious in the mornings. A long-term problem for which I have no answer. But I am happy, and trying to feel better in the mornings doesn’t matter so much when I realize that I am actually happy, though anxious. Mollie knows something.

    Most cordially, Celia


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