Life Hack for Overcoming Depression: Don’t Help People


I have a serious weakness. It’s for people I love.

You see—I want them to get happy, even though they can’t always seem to do that.

So what do I do?

First, I try to help them—which doesn’t usually work too well.

Second—and even worse—I feel guilty for being happy when they aren’t.

Crap. I’m so unperfect sometimes.

Oh, well.

I am working on it, I promise.

I swear.

This one will take some time, though.

(Is it a girl thing.? If so, God truly help us all.)


“This is the kind of writing that makes me feel as if I’d sat down with the author on the sofa with cups of tea and we were talking together for hours. The style is so vulnerable …” – Heather

“I don’t know what to say other than it is the most beautiful book that I have ever read.” – Ashley

“Really, I am rather speechless.” – Sarah

“I loved the book!! I couldn’t stop reading it!! It touched me so very much.” – Haydee

“Player has given a beautiful gift to her readers. I was very touched.” – Celia

“Player’s chatty style evokes a realism and empathy for the story. One is able to feel her pain.” – Anonymous 

Get What I Learned from Jane on Amazon.


More Stuff to Read:

Some Spiritual Practices Actually Work. It’s Amazing.

There are hundreds of spiritual techniques for overcoming depression and increasing inner peace. Only one blog talks about whether or not they work. With ratings. (Take that, God.)

I Suspect Inner Peace Is Just a Myth. Here Are Interviews With People Who Disagree.

Some people are such show-offs. But that doesn’t mean they’re not worth listening to.

There’s a Book for That, Too

It’s a great time to get suddenly awesome. So many teachers. So many books.

I’m a Partner, a Mom, a Friend, a Mom, a Sister, a Daughter, a Businessperson and a Mom. Here’s What Helps.



  1. I have the same problem and I’m trying to work on it too (not working). I feel guilty for EVERYTHING. Not just about being happy but about things that we take for granted: hot water, a good car, peace at night. It truly is a problem I need to work on because I don’t want to seem ungrateful either. Maybe its the Catholic in me. Either way – when you find a way to shut it off, gimme a call.


  2. ha. Help to help, not to make them happy. Help and that is it – the outcome (i.e., their happiness or non-happiness) is none of our business. This is how I try to view it anyway.


  3. I feel that if someone wants help, that is fine. But I don’t believe in helping someone to be dependant on me (as in not learning for themselves, or responsible for themselves).


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