Life Hack for Getting Suddenly Awesome: Don’t Fight, Part Two


In the three years we’ve known each other, my husband and I have only had one major fight.

It was about a year and a half ago, and it was pretty much resolved within the hour.

There was some door slamming, and some crying, and then he apologized (it was his fault, after all).

And then it was over.

What is our secret to not fighting?

We don’t like to.

Yup. That’s really all there is to it.

We hate to fight.

And, as a result, we don’t pick at each other. If one of us is annoying or annoyed, instead of getting annoyed back, we usually just laugh.

We make a joke of it, and we don’t take anything personally.

When he is cranky, I ask him if he is cranky, and he says yes.

When I am cranky, he asks me if I am okay, and I say no, not really.

We talk about it.

We go to bed, and get enough sleep, and the next day we are fine.

Every day, I wake up knowing that we will be happy. There won’t be tension between us, and instead of sucking my emotional energy out of me, our relationship will give me more.

And I have to say: this is my definition of bliss.

For more on this subject, read this post.

How often do you fight? I’d love to hear from you, my dear reader! Leave a comment below.


“This is the kind of writing that makes me feel as if I’d sat down with the author on the sofa with cups of tea and we were talking together for hours. The style is so vulnerable …” – Heather

“I don’t know what to say other than it is the most beautiful book that I have ever read.” – Ashley

“Really, I am rather speechless.” – Sarah

“I loved the book!! I couldn’t stop reading it!! It touched me so very much.” – Haydee

“Player has given a beautiful gift to her readers. I was very touched.” – Celia

“Player’s chatty style evokes a realism and empathy for the story. One is able to feel her pain.” – Anonymous 

Get What I Learned from Jane on Amazon.


More Stuff to Read:

Some Spiritual Practices Actually Work. It’s Amazing.

There are hundreds of spiritual techniques for overcoming depression and increasing inner peace. Only one blog talks about whether or not they work. With ratings. (Take that, God.)

I Suspect Inner Peace Is Just a Myth. Here Are Interviews With People Who Disagree.

Some people are such show-offs. But that doesn’t mean they’re not worth listening to.

There’s a Book for That, Too

It’s a great time to get suddenly awesome. So many teachers. So many books.

I’m a Partner, a Mom, a Friend, a Mom, a Sister, a Daughter, a Businessperson and a Mom. Here’s What Helps.



  1. Thank you, Mollie. I enjoyed the post. I know that, somewhere, there is someone I can care for like that who will, also, care back the same way.
    I don’t like to fight. I enjoy life so much more.


  2. I love this post because I can totally relate! My husband and I have been married coming up on 25 years. For the first 10 years or so, all we did was fight….about everything…except money, oddly. The fights were brutal, exhausting, hurtful and slowly eroded our relationship. Then one day we both woke up and realized how pointless it was! We made a conscious decision to break the pattern of behavior and find a better way to communicate. We now follow the Mr. and Mrs. Brady rule, “Never go to bed angry.” We also speak calmly and truthfully and focus only on the issue. It is amazing how much happier we’ve been. And all that happiness has produced miracles in our lives! We gave up fighting and made our lives so much better. I wish that for everyone.


I like opinions. Especially mine. But here's where to put yours, too.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s