Get happy tip: Figure out whose fault it is


Several years ago, I was married before to a man who did not respect me. For a long time, I blamed myself for his bad attitude, and so did he. Then one day, about nine months into our marriage, it hit me: he was just a jerk.

I left him a few weeks later. But before I left, I asked him what I had done wrong to make him treat me the way he did. He paused for a minute, thinking. Then, finally, he admitted he could think of nothing.

Of course, I had done something wrong. I mean, everyone does something wrong sometimes. Right?

But the question you have to ask yourself if you find yourself in this situation is: did you *really* do anything wrong?

Is it my fault this isn’t working, or is it theirs?

Only you know the answer to that.

It is somewhere inside you, somewhere where there is no confusion.

If it’s your fault, your relationship may still have a chance.

If it’s their fault, my advice is to end it now or you will be struggling to “make it work” for the rest of your life.

It is possible to be blissfully happy with someone. It really is.

Let yourself believe that it is possible for you.



  1. Wow! You sure have been through a lot in your young life! But that might be part of the reason you will become one of the great Self-Help writers of the 21st Century!

  2. YOu stop to ask yourself the question, and you realized it was your fault he was treating you that way, because you believed your thoughts that you deserved it, and believed it was your fault, then one day a slap upsie the head ! Duh … what was I thinking!

  3. I think a lot of people enter marriage with wrong expectations. Also you have to decide what behaviours you can accept, you can enjoy, you can ignore. No one is perfect, most could probably make their marriage work if they really wanted to, but there are some things untolerable. Abuse of all types for one. But in truth, we have all gotten to the point where marriage is not worth fighting for and that is wrong.

  4. I am nominating YOU for The Versatile Blogger Award because…you are a brilliant Self-Help writer!

  5. Yeah, your right, its not your fault when someone treats you poorly in general. I mean whats the point, if you dislike someone just remove yourself from their presence. No need to hurt them if their not hurting you right? I just try and forgive people who have treated me wrong, not that they deserve it, but its good for your own well being.

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