When my baby died last November, I wanted to buy a doll.
The first night I found out that Jane had brain damage, when we were staying at the hospital, I started thinking about how I wouldn’t get to hold her for more than a couple of days, or even less, and I thought, Maybe I’ll buy a doll to hold instead.
The second day after Jane died, I went to the toy store and looked for one, but most of them were too hard or too small and they did things like crying and talking and I didn’t like that.
Besides, none of them looked like her.
Several months later, I went to a grief group. One woman shared about her experience of losing her son, Michael, saying that there is no wrong way to grieve.
“Anything short of hurting yourself or others is fair game,” she said. “Do whatever it takes.”
A few days later, I bought a doll.
It is good to grieve, I’ve realized. Being sad is one of the most important things in life, after all.
It has taught me a lot.
“This is the kind of writing that makes me feel as if I’d sat down with the author on the sofa with cups of tea and we were talking together for hours. The style is so vulnerable …” – Heather
“I don’t know what to say other than it is the most beautiful book that I have ever read.” – Ashley
“Really, I am rather speechless.” – Sarah
“I loved the book!! I couldn’t stop reading it!! It touched me so very much.” – Haydee
“Player has given a beautiful gift to her readers. I was very touched.” – Celia
“Player’s chatty style evokes a realism and empathy for the story. One is able to feel her pain.” – Anonymous
Get What I Learned from Jane on Amazon.
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