No one likes advice. But there is not a person on this earth that doesn’t love a compliment.
I’m a pretty social person. I meet new people on a regular basis, and almost whenever I do this, I find myself asking one question about them, which is: are they happy?
And, if not, what do they need in order to be more happy?
What can I help them with?
It’s crazy, I know, and I never (okay, I rarely) say this out loud.
But the question is always there, in my head, and it comes out in a million different ways: telling them where I go to get a haircut, what books to read on a given subject, how to deal with stupid people.
I know, I know:
I am incredibly annoying.
Sometimes, though, my well-meaning advice comes out differently.
It comes out as a compliment.
Like, “You are so good at communicating your feelings” (when they’re really not).
Or, “I love how you always seem to know what not to say” (when this is very far from the truth).
Or even, “I love your hair” (just as a way to remind them of what they do have on their side).
And when this happens–when I find a way to replace direct advice with the indirect kind–it just works so much better.
“This is the kind of writing that makes me feel as if I’d sat down with the author on the sofa with cups of tea and we were talking together for hours. The style is so vulnerable …” – Heather
“I don’t know what to say other than it is the most beautiful book that I have ever read.” – Ashley
“Really, I am rather speechless.” – Sarah
“I loved the book!! I couldn’t stop reading it!! It touched me so very much.” – Haydee
“Player has given a beautiful gift to her readers. I was very touched.” – Celia
“Player’s chatty style evokes a realism and empathy for the story. One is able to feel her pain.” – Anonymous
Get What I Learned from Jane on Amazon.
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